Picking Up Trash

And the Joy of Gin and Tonics

Normally, I wouldn’t call picking up trash off the street a special occasion. But when I am the thing that gets picked up, the process becomes slightly more notable.

It went like this…

I was walking down the road in Kirkmichael, my little village home in Scotland this past week, when I passed a lady picking up trash. I said hello because that’s the nice thing to do.

But instead of nodding and passing on by, the lady stopped and looked at me with a slightly furrowed brow. I was afraid I was trespassing but that couldn’t be the case. It was a public roadway and even if it weren’t public you can walk just about anywhere in Scotland as long as you are polite. (Thus, my little greeting).

Here’s how the conversation unfolded. The lady said:

Do I know you?

No. I’ve never been here before.

OK then. Come on over and have some nibbles. I’ll fix you a Gin & Tonic.

Let me just say…in my 52 years living in the States, this has NEVER happened. It’s not that people aren’t nice. They are. And I grew up in the south which meant I got really good at “Well, isn’t that nice” and “Bless your heart.”

But there were rules to our politness.

Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t take candy from strangers either. Don’t get in an unmarked white van. Don’t walk alone, especially after dark. And if you do go for a walk alone on a regular basis take a different route on the regular. Always be aware of your surroundings. Walk with purpose.

I had clearly broken a bunch of the rules in this one conversation.

I had talked to a stranger. I was walking alone and I wasn’t walking with purpose. It was more of a meander. I didn’t get into an unmarked white van but I did go to a white cottage. And, I was going to take candy from a stranger too! Well…not candy exactly but a lovely gin and tonic with a dried grapefruit slice for garnish.

What’s so surprising to me (and I wish it weren’t surprising) is that hospitality came so easily for Jane and her husband, Phil. It was second nature to them to welcome a stranger. It was such a gift and I will never forget it. In fact, we hung out another night and they even drove me to my next destination.

A few Gin & Tonics later, I would say we are good friends.

Their kindness feels like a lost art these days. We’ve been conditioned to be so afraid of one another. To live behind locked doors and gated communities. To judge people before we ever get to know them. To relegate people into camps of acceptability based on their clothes, their cars, how they talk, how they walk. We over-generalize to the point of under-caring. And we end up sitting alone in our well guarded homes where no one will bother us. I even turn out the lights at Halloween.

To be sure, I did say a tiny prayer that my hosts weren’t secret ax murderers. And, guess what? They weren’t!

Instead, they were the most gracious hosts with the warmest of hearts. And they were willing to pick me up off the street and take me in.

Isn’t that what life should be about?

I’m not advocating that you go out and pick up hitchhikers. We all grew up watching that movie and it didn’t end well.

But I am advocating for getting to know the people you meet. Have a conversation. Ask questions and be genuinely interested in the answers. Find out what you have in common. And, you may hear some of the most fascinating and entertaining stories you have ever heard.

Best of all, you’ll make new friends.

You might even have a fabulous Gin and Tonic.