Wants & Needs
I am not sure where April went. Well…I know where it went. I just missed the boat. As much as I wanted to pull together some semblance of a monthly newsletter, the to-do lists kept getting longer and the days kept getting shorter. April turned into May and here we are.
But not to worry! There are some Wise Things that came out of my April absence!
Let me first say that coming out of a month like April is humbling. For me, it was a season of responsibilities where the things I wanted to do had to take a back seat to the things I needed to do. Want and need are tricky little suckers and the balance between them takes a heck a lot of honesty…with yourself and with other people.
And no matter how much you hear…you need to take a break and get some rest…the hard truth is that there are times when rest simply is not in the books.
So in seasons like this I’ve found it helpful to not linger on the things I want…the day off, the relaxing afternoon, the lunch date with a friend. Lingering on what you don’t have can drive you crazy and make you bitter if you aren’t careful. And no matter how much we wrestle with our circumstances…there are just times when our wish list of things we want to do will have to be put on the backburner so that we can focus on what we need to do.
And that’s OK…as long as you don’t get consumed by longing for what you don’t have.
I’ve found it helpful this past month to simply let go of some things…temporarily…and work on finding joy and meaning in the critical needs in front of me. I can let a long day feel like drudgery or I can choose to seek goodness, growth, and connection within that day. I can let my bone tired body fill me with dread or I can seek the inbreaking of grace and mercy and kindness when I need it the most.
I’m guilty of wishing I could be somewhere else at times. I bet you know that feeling, too.
But, let it go. For now. The lunch date with friends can wait. The afternoon nap will be there another day. The newsletter will go out…eventually. And that’s just fine. Deep down, we know where we need to be.
What goodness might you find there?
Here are some of the good things I stumbled upon during this past month…
Fiddler ferns…
Baby pear trees starting to grow…
Turkey tracks…
And horses that come when you whistle.
I know these things are simple. But, that’s the point. Finding grace when we are worn down and burned out is essential if we are to keep our hearts and minds moving forward. It’s a moment to breathe, a moment to give thanks, a moment to remember that life is still beautiful no matter what we may face in the present.
I stumbled across the most joyous artist this month. Her name is MaryAnne Bernardo and her art speaks so poignantly of those glimmers of hope that emerge out of the most ordinary of moments. Here is one of my favorites…
This is from a yoga teacher, Carolyn Clark, who is also a beautiful essayist. One of her recent posts struck me as one of the most important posts I have ever read. She talks about her journey to sobriety and how it had ripple effects within her family, and those effects weren’t always easy or welcome.
She writes:
When you’ve been married a long time, in my case 40 years, you can stop noticing the scaffolding and the small things that hold the union in place. The habits that become part of your long alliance, the dinners you eat, the side of the sofa you sit on, the radio station you default to, even the colour you paint your walls (I may come back to that).
A drink at the end of the day is one of those habits, often not even particularly remarked upon. But it’s there, reliably, quietly, signaling that it’s time to relax together.
And then one of you stops drinking alcohol.
Carolyn talks about how shared rhythms, when quietly altered, may not shift our physical proximity to those we love but they shift our psychological proximity. If you are going through an important change in your life…this is a good read.
I’ve been working on a simple breath exercise in my yoga practice to help let go of tension that seeps in when times are stressful and busy. Give it a try.
Recognize and Release.
You are going to take 5 slow breaths.
On the first 2 breaths recognize where you are holding tension in your body. Maybe your shoulders, your hands, your hips. Acknowledge what you feel without judgment.
Then, on the next 3 breaths imagine your muscles relaxing. Let each exhale release the tension that you are carrying. Imagine your body and your mind finding a sense of peace.
Repeat this exercise a few times if you need to. And remember…you are releasing for more breaths than you are recognizing. That’s important. We can’t deny or ignore hard times but grace-filled moments will always outweigh what challenges us if we take time to move through them with an open heart.
I recently joined the Iona Community and one of the members wrote this wonderful paraphrase of the Lord’s prayer…
Holy imagination,
present, though unseen,
holy is the name we breathe
without speaking.
let your way arrive
quietly,
as morning light does—
yet shattering the shadows
of injustice, fear, and hate,
here, where we stand,
as surely as it already is elsewhere.
give us today
what is enough.
teach us to release
what we hold against one another,
as we hope to be released ourselves.
do not abandon us
to the paths that undo us,
but guide us away
from what hardens the heart.
for the strength,
the nearness,
the lasting love—
all of it—
has always been yours.
amen.
© 2026 Thom M. Shuman
